Types of Conflict
Conflict comes in many varieties.
First, there are interpersonal conflicts. Sometimes people just push each other’s buttons. If you’re fighting about something trivial, or if you fight about everything, you might be dealing with interpersonal friction. (For example, Singh and his co-founder argued about stuff like the furniture they would put in their new office space at the end of their A round.)
Then there are conflicts over different visions for a company. Glicken encountered that with a colleague when his startup evolved. “The reality over time was that one of the co-founders was no longer enjoying it. The business was not aiming in a direction that they particularly were interested and keen in,” he says.
Leadership styles can also be a source of conflict. Some people want work to be very buttoned-up and corporate, with a strict hierarchy; others want their workplace to be relaxed and allow for individual expression.
Conflicts can stem from processes and policies—like how you’re managing personnel. Singh and his co-founder clashed over an employee at the senior vice president level who performed well but didn’t get along with everyone. Singh wanted to work out the issues, but his co-founder fired the employee instead. “That was a huge bummer for me because I thought he was strong, and then we promoted somebody in his place that I didn't think was quite ready,” Singh says.
And you might run into conflict with people you’re working with closely outside your business, like contractors or vendors. Marie DeCosse, founder and CEO of NOMAD Travel Groups, found herself at odds with her legal team when they weren’t transparent about how much they were going to charge. “The bill ended up being upwards of $25,000, which for a startup at my stage, it's not okay,” DeCosse says.
How to Resolve Conflict
You’ve found a conflict—now what? Take a deep breath. Before confronting a colleague, you want to reflect on the source of the disagreement. Singh recommends asking, “How much of this is me and my own wounds and patterns and issues, and how much of it is really business-related?” Journaling or talking with a mentor can help you sort it out.
Next, talk to the other person. You might want to have a third party mediate so things stay on track. Keep the conversation focused on substance, and refrain from personal swipes. “You have to be open to hearing the other side and not be closed off,” Glicken says. If the talk gets heated, pause the conversation and come back when everyone has cooled down.
If the trouble stems from a disgruntled employee, you might first notice in a meeting or on a call. “If their shoulders start to slump, if there's an eye roll, if they're not paying attention and looking at their other screen the entire time, if they didn't start the phone call off generally in good spirits, and this is now a consistent thing—that is something that you should address,” DeCosse says. Wait to check in with them one-on-one so they feel respected and so others in the group aren’t drawn into the conflict.
Sometimes, contention isn’t between individuals. It might arise when two groups don’t see eye to eye on the best way forward, or when a process isn’t working for some team members. To prevent ongoing bickering, you should escalate the dispute so someone in a leadership role can settle the matter.
“When there's conflict between individuals who are in positions of authority, that can more often than not lead to success because there's a way for a decision with power to result from that conflict that helps refine the business,” DeCosse says
At the same time, you want to make sure that leaders actually consider both sides and that seniority isn’t always the deciding factor. Someone continually pulling rank can lead to high turnover, because people voluntarily leave or because the decision-maker forces them out. Singh says his co-founder (who was CEO) always won their arguments because Singh was just the COO. The outcome? The CEO demoted Singh, then stripped him of his responsibilities, then fired him.e